the power of human emotion

Not my regular music genre, but I am interested in Juliette and the Licks all the same. I have always been fascinated by her as an actress. She just eminates this "i don't give a fuck about what anyone thinks, i can only be what am" feeling. As a girl who cares too much about pleasing others, her power makes me dizzy. But now as a *ROCKSTAR*, she can really let it fly. The music is not bad and it actually reminds me quite a bit of the songs from Hedwig. The best way to listen to it is LOUD, dancing round the room like a maniac in your undies. She may just take the place in my heart that once belonged to PJ Harvey. The show looks incredible. I will not buy the album, but if she comes to town, i will have to see her.



Anyone who needs kneepads to perform gets a star in my book.

This was taken with a medium format camera and polaroid 4x5 film. I really enjoyed working with this borrowed (and very heavy)camera and would love to own one. Focusing on the ground glass was amazingly precise and I think seeing the photo upside down helps in creating a good composition. This is one of my favorite photos and combines many things I like: doll parts, burlap, old pots/dishes, and dirt.

Somehow, I have become obsessed with The Superficial - Because You're Ugly. Mostly, it's just because I love to look at beautiful women, but I must admit that I enjoy his catty comments, even if I don't agree with who he finds unattractive. (How could someone think Kristin Dunst is ugly? Did he see Virgin Suicides?)

Also been shamefully reading NYC gossip page Gawker. I don't even know who most of the people they talk about are. BUT, they have been writing a lot about Vincent Gallo of late, who I am hopelessly crazy about. (They are not too fond.) He seems to be the most difficult, complicated man alive. If you doubt me, read this Grandroyal article in which he interviews himself. I'm not too sure about his strong anti-drug and pro-republican mindset, but I could love him even if they are for real. I also found a great story that he wrote about traveling cross country with his ex-girlfriend (wife?) and she didn't get him anything for his birthday. He kept think some surprise was waiting for him all day long, only to be continually let down. It was the most marvelous story, but I can't find it again. Seems like he keeps up his own website and may even answer e-mails. He requests that women send naked photos to him and I think I will do so; I have a good one picked out. If I do so, I must also send a really good letter and do it before The Brown Bunny opens in Philly. It is possible he will come to the opening, but I am sooooo shy...



Self-portrait from Gallo's site -- Wonderful

The thought of writing anything has made me exhausted lately. I know that I have always been a lazy person, but sometimes I am just so lifeless and apathetic that I amaze myself. There are excuses. For one, I have been having serious pain in my right shoulder, most likely from all the time that I spend mousing on the computer. Maybe I should get a trackball, but I hate them and imagine it would take a long time to get accustomed to using one. With time, are you able to get precise control over them? I have started going to a chiropractor, and have seen a small amount of improvement. But, paying $30 for her to work on me for 4 minutes isn't sitting well with me and I don't know how long I will be able to continue.

Another problem is that I don't have an opportunity to write in private ever. There is a short time in the morning at work when I am almost alone. (There is no one looking over my shoulder, but people do walk in and out of my room.)I think I need a certain dose of isolation to thrive and I am not getting it.

There have been things I want to write about, Mr. Gallo, music, home improvement techniques, and especially my trip to Colorado/Utah. I am starting to lose my grasp on the specific happenings of the trip, but unfortunately I haven't even developed all the film yet and I do want to demonstrate the vast beauty visually. Better do it soon! One of these days I will get myself a digital camera.

Expect shorter posts with lots of links in the future and more photo friday stuff.

(I am also feeling very guilty, because D. doesn't know anything about these posts and I hate keeping secrets. I know he will get mad at me, but it is hard to share everything with him because he is so judgmental. I want to be accepted as I am. It is my only real complaint about him. Don't try and change me.)

This was part of a series of self-portaits that I did last winter. Work had sent me to a conference and I got to stay at a gorgeous bed and breakfast. My room had a four-post bed and a big clawfoot tub. That night, I stayed up late, setting my camera up on a tripod and using the timer to shoot a roll of black and white. I had no idea what the photos were going to look like and had to merely guess on the focus and composition. The results were disappointing in that they had GOOD focus and were just too ordinary, but a few (like this one) survived with some major cropping.

Over the weekend, i got to reconnect with an old acqaintance that i highly respect -- Lars Din. (i'll have to get to more about him at a later date. he is an excellent singer-songwriter as well as an all-around highly intelligent and creative person, who should be better known than he is.)

In the few hours i spent with him, Lars taught me about two very intersting topics, near and dear to his own heart, that I had never heard anything about.

The first is deisel to vegtable oil conversion. I had no idea that there faw a fairly easy way to modify a deisel vehicle to run on discarded vegtable oil which can easily be scored from the myriads of fast food resturants now taking over the world. Seems fried food is good for something. good introductory article And many kits like greasecar are available for sale. For those of you who love roadtrips, this could save a lot of money, start up some good conversations with strangers, and score you high points with that cute environmentalist chick.

Secondly, Lars told me the dramatic, but true, story of Phoolan Devi, which blew my mind. it's complicated, so i won't try to repeat it here, instead, read a short history or an even shorter ballad. A movie, The Bandit Queen, based on her life was made a few years before her assasination, but she protested it ferociously because it portrayed her as a victim, threatening to kill herself in front of a theater if it was realeased. Her life story seems so long, but she was only 37 when she died.